The Meaning of Life<\/p>\n
The female bedbug says, \u201cFuck a hole through my stomach.\u201d<\/p>\n
The male bedbug says, \u201cI have just the tool for the job.\u201d<\/p>\n
The female duck says, \u201cFuck me around and around and around.\u201d<\/p>\n
The drake says, \u201cI have just the corkscrew for the job.\u201d<\/p>\n
The male bonobo says, \u201cFuck my wife. And then me. Then your wife, and her lover, which is me again.\u201d<\/p>\n
The male praying mantis says, \u201cFuck my brains out.\u201d<\/p>\n
The hermaphroditic flatworm says, \u201cThe thought of wrestling with you makes me super hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
The other hermaphroditic flatworm says, \u201cThe thought of wrestling makes me super hard, too. And sharp.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s all fun until someone gets sperm in the bloodstream and has to lay the eggs.<\/p>\n
The female trout says, \u201cI will fuck the river.\u201d<\/p>\n
The male trout says, \u201cI will fuck the river in the same place and not stick around to see what happens.\u201d<\/p>\n
The female angler fish sings, \u201cHere comes the sun, little darling.\u201d<\/p>\n
The male angler fish sings, \u201cI\u2019ll stop the world and meld with you. Permanently.\u201d<\/p>\n
The whiptail lizard sings, \u201cLike a virgin\u201d and drops offspring whenever she pleases.<\/p>\n
The male gingko tree entreats, \u201cO Wind, willest thou bear my fuckspores over to that thin little sapling?\u201d<\/p>\n
The thin little sapling giggles, \u201cStop it, Wind, that tickles!\u201d<\/p>\n
The male porcupine thinks, \u201cThis better be worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s fuck tomorrow,\u201d suggests the panda.<\/p>\n
\u201cOr,\u201d suggests the other panda coyly, \u201cwe could fuck the day after tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
The young chimpanzee has his mouth full, fellating himself, a hormonal Ouroboros.<\/p>\n
All around, the bacteria scratch their itches and divide, moaning trillions of tiny moans, which is why silence is never quite silent.<\/p>\n
Over the course of its lifetime, the leopard slug composes with its slime trail the following: \u201cOne<\/p>\n
day I will dangle from a branch entwined with my beloved, a double helix slick and tightening, and the two translucent penises emerging from our heads will entwine as well, forming a pale globe across which our mutual seeds will travel like warm ocean currents.\u201d<\/p>\n
The dragonfly whispers, \u201cLet\u2019s do it midair, because when I come I want to be touching nothing but you.\u201d<\/p>\n
The luna moths do not whisper to each other, lacking mouthparts, coupling urgently as they perish on a diet of wind.<\/p>\n
The moon, round and inanimate, looks down on them with pity. They cannot apologize for the way they are shaped, or the way they want the hurt.<\/p>\n
The horse says, \u201cFuck me bareback.\u201d<\/p>\n
The oyster says, \u201cFuck me raw.\u201d<\/p>\n
And the cat says, \u201cFuck me doggy style.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":759,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5],"tags":[13],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-issue-1","category-new-satisfying-poems","tag-new-poetry"],"yoast_head":"\n